Momday Series: Mom Minute
It’s 8 a.m. and time for school.
But, the kids are still in their pajamas, running around the house and no where close to sitting down to finally eat the breakfast you prepared. You’ve tried asking them. You’ve tried the one word directive from a popular parenting book, “clothes.” You’ve tried talking to them sensibly with natural consequences. You’ve tried positive discipline.
And now, they’ve tried your patience.
You yell. You yell again. You yell some more. And finally, somewhere in between all the yelling, your kids are finally dressed, fed and on their way to school.
I’m not here to judge you or your parenting style.
Instead, I’m going to nod my head and let you know that we’ve all been there, whether we chose to acknowledge it or not. If we’re really being honest, just last week for me.
Which is why today’s Momday Series speaks to my heart. It’s called a Mom Minute. When my kids are driving me crazy, I tell them, “Mom needs a Mom Minute,” and I walk into another room so I can breath, think and calm down
And it works. Every. Single. Time.
When I turn to Mom Minutes, I’m able to slow my heart rate and stop the adrenaline from kicking in to rev things up. I’m able to figure out what is really going on and how I can end it.
The first time I did this, my kids were literally shocked silent. The next few times, they followed me and I simply held up my hand, repeating, “Mom needs a Mom Minute, I will be back when I’m done.” Once, I had to walk to a few different locations before being left alone.
Now, the kids understand and know I will be back. They also figured out that I’m pretty angry if I take a Mom Minute, which makes them stop and think about their actions. And, once I’m calm, they naturally calm down a bit too.
Mom Minutes help my kids learn that it’s ok to have feelings.
You can get angry, anxious, jealous, sad. And when you do, it’s ok to remove yourself from the situation in order to soothe your soul. Last month, Sienna asked for a “Sienna Second,” so call me crazy, but I think it’s working. The next time you feel yourself revving up to yell, try taking a Mom Minute. See how you feel afterwards. Did it help diffuse the situation?
I’m not perfect. I still yell more than I’d like to, but sometimes all it takes is having this last item in your arsenal to stop the fire from burning any brighter.